Friday, January 28, 2011

Don't Poot In Bed!

If this story doesn't make you cry from laughing so hard, let me know and I'll pray for you.
This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of pooting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would cause her to gasp for breath and make her eyes water.
Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to blast them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards; neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts. A malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband soundly slept and, gently pulling back the bed
covers, she peeled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband
awaken with his usual trumpeting, followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right.
All these years you've warned me and I didn't listen to you.'
'What do you mean?' asked his wife.
'Well, you always told me that one day I would end up pooting my guts out, and today it finally happened! But, by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

Enjoy your day :)!


  1. LOL, you brightened up a very dreary morning.
    Thanks for the laugh!

  2. Glad it helped beat the snowy weather blues!

  3. Too funny. That's like the dead rabbit story. Thanks.

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  5. Brought tears to my eyes. Too funny. I need a story like that every day.

  6. OMG! hahahaha, that was good!